When Everything's Broken But We Keep Making School Lunches
I was casually scrolling Instagram yesterday and saw a post about France having its hottest days on record. The next thing in my feed? "Who Dakota Johnson is dating after Chris Martin."
And for a moment, I just sat there thinking: What the hell are we doing?
There's a term I came across last year and I saw it again recently in an article in The Guardian - hyper-normalisation - and when I read it, I literally said "Oh, thank you" out loud. It made so much sense of what I've been feeling.
And now I know I’m not alone!
The term was coined to describe what happened in Soviet Russia when people simultaneously knew their system was completely broken AND they just kept going about their daily lives. Mostly because they couldn't imagine what might come next if the system really did collapse.
When I read about this, it immediately took me back to my marriage. For years, I normalised deeply dysfunctional behaviour. I knew something was wrong - the system wasn't working - but I kept making it normal in my head. "Most people have a drink every night. It’s not like he’s drinking during the day. Maybe I'm the one with the problem."
We just kept getting up, raising kids, doing all the things while living in something that was fundamentally broken. And I did it because I couldn't imagine what came next. What would disrupting our family system look like? Who knew!? So we carried on.
Now I see this pattern everywhere and it's honestly a bit unnerving. I had this conversation with a dad at my daughter's basketball - he works in finance. I was trying to get him to validate what I was seeing, all the disruption and potential for system collapse. His response? "It's a great time to buy companies."
I wanted him to say "Yes, we see it too. We're gearing up for something big." Instead, it was just business as usual. It left me feeling so disoriented.
But I also get it. Wrapping our heads around the idea that many major global systems are under pressure, at the same time, and all the systems in our complex society are interconnected and a collapse in one system can trigger the downfall of others - well that’s a pretty big reality to accept.
So…
While climate systems are failing, we're planning summer holidays. While AI is disrupting everything, we're debating what to watch on Netflix. We scroll from disaster to celebrity gossip and our brains don’t explode.
It's such a strange way to live, isn't it? This constant disconnect between "everything is falling apart" and "did I remember to put the bins out?"
In this Lisa Bytes episode, I dive into why we do this, how I finally had to face the dysfunction in my own life, and that weird feeling of wondering if you're the only one who notices how bizarre it all is.
Because honestly? Understanding this concept has made me feel less alone in the weirdness. Less like I'm going crazy in my own little world.
Have you noticed yourself doing this? I'd love to know if this hits home for you too.